I have listened to it and I can tell you that it made me cry in my car on my way to and from work because the songs really hit home, especially when you know the premise of the story. A lot of them are ones you will know and recognize, but in the context of JERKBAIT, they are eye opening.
Let's learn more about the book...
JERKBAIT
Author: Mia Siegert
Publisher: Jolly Fish Press
Publication Date: May 3, 2016
Summary:
Even though they're identical, Tristan isn't close to his twin Robbie at all—until Robbie tries to kill himself. Forced to share a room to prevent Robbie from hurting himself, Tristan starts seeing his twin as not an NHL prospect, but a struggling gay teen who is terrified about coming out in the professional sports world. Trapped together in their claustrophobic room, Robbie suggests they run away with "Jimmy2416," a guy Robbie has talked to online for months but never met. Tristan must decide whether to tell his parents about Robbie's plan, losing his twin's trust forever, or go on a journey that will put their lives and innocence in jeopardy.
A Word From Mia...
A few months ago, Christopher Loke (the Executive Editor at Jolly Fish Press) and I discussed making a playlist for JERKBAIT. It made sense as the novel is very music-oriented (although I'm trying to be cautious with spoilers). Together, we created a Spotify playlist and had a good balance—he had a lot more of the "soft" songs, and I had a lot more of the "grit." I think both of our choices, especially fused together, worked well.The order of the songs generally follows the plot of the novel. Because of spoilers, I'm being super cautious about explaining the songs, so, instead, I chose some relevant lyrics from each song that applies perfectly, IMO. :)
Unfortunately, Spotify didn't have one of the songs I really wanted to include, which was "Lifeboat" from the Heathers musical. Literally, the whole song is perfect for one scene when Robbie tries to talk with Tristan.
Fortunately, there's a youtube video:
Anyway, enough of that! Here we go!
Heads up that some songs potentially could be trigger-y as the book revolves around some dark things, including gay teen suicide and predators.
1. "Ny BatterÃ" by Sigur Rós
**Mia's Note: This was the only non-negotiable song on the playlist as it was the song that originally gave me the idea for JERKBAIT.
Loose Translation from Icelandic to English: "I want to cut and slice myself to death, but lacking courage, I shut myself off instead. I'm alone again."
2. "Numb" by Linkin Park
"All I want to do is be more like me and be less like you."
3. "Counting on Me" - KoRn
"You see the pain in my face while you keep putting me down. Inside the rage starts to build. You push me, I won't go down. You're the one who's always screaming at me, I'm the one who keeps your lives so carefree. What the fuck more do you want me to be?"
4. "Mad World" - Cover by Michael Andrews, Gary Jules
"And I find it kind of funny, I find it kind of sad, the dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had."
5. "Gravity" - Sara Bareilles
"You're neither friend nor foe, though I can't seem to let you go. The one thing that I still know is that you're keeping me down."
6. "Forfeit" - Chevelle
"Refrain from talking, it solves our problems. Medicated, could do some good, or find a way to relate, or just shut up."
7. "Born Slippy" - Underworld
"Let your feelings slip, boy, but never your mask, boy. Random blonde bio high density rhythm blonde boy."
8. "When You Come Back Down" - Nickel Creek
"Take every chance you dare, I'll still be there when you come back down (...) I'll keep lookin' up, awaitin' your return. My greatest fear will be that you will crash and burn, and I won't feel your fire."
9. "Keep Breathing" - Ingrid Michaelson
"I want to believe in more than you and me, but all that I know is that I'm breathing."
10. "Only Girl (In The World)" - Cover by Boyce Avenue, Alex Goot
"I'm gonna make you feel like you're the only girl in the world (...) Like you're the only one who's in command, cause you're the only one who understands how to make me feel like a man."
11. "The Quiet" - Troye Sivan
"I'd rather be black and blue than accept that you withdrew. Just tell me, say anything. Anything hurts less than the quiet."
12. "Alone I Break" - KoRn
"I will make it go away. Can't be here no more. Seems this is the only way. I will soon be gone."
13. "Passive" - A Perfect Circle
"Leaning over you here, cold and catatonic. I catch a brief reflection of what you could and might have been. It's your right and your ability to become my perfect enemy."
14. "This Night" - Black Lab
"So take this night, wrap it around me like a sheet. I know I'm not forgiven, but I need a place to sleep."
15. "Hotel" - Tori Amos
"King Solomon's Mines, exit 75. I'm still alive... I'm still alive... I'm still alive..."
16. "Impossible" - James Arthur
"Falling out of love is hard, falling for betrayal is worse."
17. "You'll Be In My Heart" - Tarzan (OBC)
"For one so small, you seem so strong. My arms will hold you, keep you safe and warm. This bond between us can't be broken. I will be here, don't you cry."
18. "Bird Set Free" - Sia
"There's a scream inside that we all try to hide. We hold on so tight, but I don't wanna die. No, I don't wanna die. I don't wanna die."
I can't. The synopsis alone had me tearing up. Also, I appreciate the trigger warning, which is really the main reason why I just can't listen. I'm glad there's also a list of songs so I can see the playlist though. Hopefully one day I'll be able to handle it but.. Uh-oh, here come the tears. At least I'm alone so no one can see me ugly cry, right? (Sorry to be a Debbie downer)
ReplyDeleteThis sounds like a dark and emotionally wrenching read, and I think you captured the mood with the playlist so well. I always admire people who can put together a music list like this - because I can never remember lyrics to save my life. Great job with it!
ReplyDeleteAentee at Read at Midnight